Over 6 years ago, I left a profoundly toxic relationship, feeling like a shell of my former self after enduring verbal, emotional, and physical abuse for a decade.

Raised to be an independent and proactive woman, with a strong academic and professional background, I excelled in many areas. However, due to my empathetic nature and the challenge of recognising subtle warning signs, I attracted an extreme taker who took advantage of me. He stayed at home while I worked full time, claiming he couldn't hold a job. I juggled work, cooking, cleaning, and helping kids with homework and bedtime routines; I felt exhausted and stressed, and there were days I woke up feeling like I was 80 years old and did not want to get out of bed. The more I did, the more abuse I experienced.

Thinking like a problem solver, I believed that if I tried harder, things would improve. Unfortunately, the abuse escalated: I went to the hospital to stitch up my skull, I took leaves from work due to bruises, until the event when my ex-partner put his hands on my neck, suffocated me and told me I was finished that day. Only after that moment did I wake up and decide that I did not want to live the rest of my life like that.

It took more than 8 months to formally separate from my ex-partner and another 8 months to live separately due to ongoing abuse. I changed locks, installed surveillance, and experienced intense fear. None of it was easy, but deep down, I discovered my strength and resilience. After this traumatic relationship, I took on a journey to rebuild myself. I joined a band, started writing songs, and found solace in music. I practiced taekwondo to build up my physical strength and self-confidence. The unwavering support of friends and family warmed my heart, helping me overcome a decade of shame.

Fast forward to 2024, Now, 5 years into a supportive and joyful relationship, life keeps getting better. I'm eternally grateful for the decision and courage to leave that toxic past behind. I encourage others to do the same: prioritise yourself, recognise your worth, and set firm boundaries. Most importantly, discover your true self beyond titles and possessions and love yourself wholeheartedly.

Remember: If you want to live a happy and fulfilling life, doing more things is not the answer; getting more things is not the answer. Knowing who you are, your worth, your value, and what you want is the answer.